Reminiscing About Things That Go Beep In The Night
It began early this morning when a smoke alarm began that occasional chirp to let you know the battery is dying. 
Can it be any more annoying? Why does that only happen at 3 am or 5 am?
We hadn’t been able to cut it off and even with no battery, it beeps intermittently and unexpectedly. I had smothered it with some folded blankets & stashed it in a drawer, which worked for months, until this morning at about 5:30 or so – but it was such a muffled sound, I couldn’t figure out where it was coming from, hadn’t remembered squirreling it away and honestly, couldn’t find it for awhile. 
You know when the beep sounds far away, you go to the far end of the house, wait forever, then hear it again ‘far away’ and hurry to another part of the house, wait, etc… It never beeps when you’re right under it… or am I the only one that happens to? There was no going back to sleep, so I went to my desk to read & journal.
It was only an occasional, but annoying little muffled chirp to my ears but I can only imagine to a dog’s ears, it must have been unpleasant, to say the least. Our beautiful German Shepherd ‘Guard’ dog, Rocky, has gone into some kind of panic mode.
I went into the bathroom, but didn’t secure the door, as I 
found out when Rocky came barging in, laying her 85 pound self down in the extraordinarily small bathroom next to me making it impossible to secure the door. Buddy, our ChihuahuaEsque little guy, followed her in. Nothing ever bothers Buddy, so I’m not sure if the beep bothered him, or he responded to Rocky’s stress, or if he just wanted to be part of it all.
At the next chirp, Rocky panicked and tried to get past me to get into the tub, stepping on Buddy as she did. [She’s a Florida girls so she knows about hurricanes, tornadoes, etc. I guess.] Failing at that she squeezed in between the toilet and tub by my feet. That did make it possible to close the door which gave us all a little more room, but by then Buddy was trying to jump up into my lap. Laughing hysterically by that time, I must admit it was a most unusual bathroom experience. Rocky was not laughing.
Poor little girl – 
no sooner had I opened the bathroom door than the chirp/beep happened again. She headed for the front door, charged outside, refusing to come back in – even much later. Fine with me. Back to my desk. Buddy followed me back into the office.
BARKBARKBARK!!!
Good grief! I went out to hush her – she hushed, but then minutes later, BARKBARKBARK!!! BARKBARKBARK!!!
She usually responds to a loud hand clap or just a CesarMilanDogWhisperEsque “Shhh”, but not today. This time I was less than happy with her, fussing with her on my way out the door to get her. She was looking up, while frantically barking – I thought she had lost her mind.
She has never barked at a cat or raccoon on the roof, or in a tree, 
but then, suddenly the Goodyear blimp silently appeared from behind the trees, flying very low and almost directly overhead.
She alerted us to the danger but she was traumatized. I cuddled her, praised her, comforted her, invited her back in – but oh, no – she was not going back in. Can you just imagine? Inside was that awful invisible chirp coming from who-knows-where and Outside was the big monster in the sky! I finally had to get the leash. She responded immediately, but came rushing back in. still in a panic.
Do dogs have mental breakdowns? She’s a mess today. I finally found the errant ‘beep’ and in desperation, put the smoke alarm, wrapped in a towel, in the trunk of my car. That seems to have helped her some.
Now, little Buddy’s curled up in a chair near my desk,
and Rocky’s lying on the floor beside my desk, 
throwing glances up at me repeatedly for reassurance, I presume.
Her heavy panting is moving her whole body and causing her butt to tap against the louvered folding closet doors with each breath. Tap…tap…tap…tap…
Ok, I can deal with that. It’s not as bad as that beeping and I’m not about to ask her to move. Our girl is quieting down and hopefully, beginning to feel safe again.
< Insert “BEEP” 
here